Dear Dad,

Today I’m going to try and patch things up with you. I know I’ve disappointed you, but in all fairness, I feel let down, too. I am so very happy in my life right now, but it’s all a little clouded over with the fact that my own dad doesn’t like me very much. I know you love me, but I sure as hell wish I knew that you liked me.

I know. I’m a vegetarian, I’m tattooed, I have two dogs, I don’t play in a pipe band, and I sold my condo. I’m dating a man with tattoos, piercings, a motorcycle, and a mohawk, and I moved in with him. These are all things that make you unhappy with me. But that stuff is who I am. I live a good, simple life, and I’m happy. I wish you could see that and want to be a part of it. Because maybe, just maybe, you’d get to know us, and you’d see that we’re good people.

A daughter has a very important relationship with her dad, and when she feels that he dislikes her as intensely as I feel you dislike me, it cuts pretty deep. I guess I just don’t understand. I can’t always do the things in my life that you may have done in yours, but the paths I have chosen have led me to where I am today. I have a nice home, a peaceful life, no debt, and a relationship (with The Cheerleader) I’ve always wanted but never knew I deserved. I wish you were around to see it all and share in it with me.

You wanted me to write.

I wrote. But you didn’t read it.

And you won’t read this either.

I can’t seem to make you proud of me. It seems that even when I try, I fail. I can’t seem to do the right thing by you, even when  I do something that you wish me to do. It confuses me, and it hurts me, and it’s led to my being completely lost.

I’m going to contact you today, because I haven’t spoken to you for almost a month. Which is heartbreaking, considering you live only 15 minutes away from me. I gave up on contacting you, even though I know that if I don’t make the effort, we won’t have a relationship. I just needed a break for a little while.

Break is over. I’ll talk with you today.


Your Happy Daughter