I had a strange moment this morning when I was brushing my teeth. I was thinking about the day when my ex-husband asked me for a divorce, and I realized that not only had I forgotten what day it happened on (a date I figured would be burned into my brain forever), but I also forgot which month it happened in! I think it was October. Maybe November.

I love that I’ve forgotten that! It was such a traumatic moment, followed by a couple devastating years, and I was certain that I’d never get myself standing straight again. So, today I felt an urge to do something different on the blog. Today, I think I’ll write a short letter…

To my Ex,

I want to thank you for divorcing me. Although I could not see it at the time, you were right about the fact that our relationship was no good. It’s ok that you fell out of love with me, and I can’t fault you for that. I may not agree with how you conducted yourself throughout the process, but that’s of no consequence now. It doesn’t matter at all.

I thought that I had been destroyed for good, and that a life without you in it would be impossible. But now I see that the life I have today is exactly the one I had wished for. I hope you can say the same about yours, too.

I’m happy now. I don’t have wealth, but I have peace. I have contentment, love, and honesty. I don’t search for more, because I’ve got all I need. I drive a reliable car with two dog crates in the back, and ferry Jenn and Luna to non-exotic, but well-loved places. (Luna is doing well, by the way, she’s old and slow, but happy and still as smart as ever. She’s got arthritis in her spine, and wonky hips, but her tail still works perfectly, as evidenced by the endless wagging!).

I live in a cozy home beside the river, on the edge of a small forest. I have a job that brings me joy, and connects me with truly lovely people. I climbed a mountain! I also bought myself a kayak, and when summer comes I’ll be able to paddle across the river to get to work!

I still have a bazgillion* good friends, and I’m in an honest, reciprocal, and loving relationship. I am debt-free, and I am deliriously happy.

None of this happened because of you, per se, but it wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been strong enough to leave those 4.5 years ago. I can respect you for that.

I took a lot of hits for a few years, but I’ve come out waaaaaaaaaaaay on top. Hell, last summer I was 19,340 feet on top! I’m stronger, more centred, and more balanced. I laugh every single day.

The Cheerleader I Live With has been supportive and true, and he and I know that we were meant to be together. So, I thank you for letting me go, so that I could live my life happily with him (and Jenn and Luna, of course).

So, Ex, this is my small letter to you. To tell you that I don’t harbour resentment or anger toward you, because none of it matters. None of it. I love each and every day, and I hope that you can say the same about yourself.

Robyn

*Bazgillion may or may not be a real number

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