The Cheerleader I Work For follows the blog of one Ms. Roz Savage, a crazy brave, brilliant woman who rows through treacherous waters. Yes, that’s right, ROWS. Solo. Anyway, from what I understand, the way that Roz got her start in all this was, well… writing her own obituary. She wrote one as though her life were to end while she was on her present path, and then wrote the one she would LIKE to have, based on a life she wanted. Needless to say, she preferred the latter, and then went about to making it happen (The good life part, not the dying part). She made some incredibly difficult decisions, and she changed her life into what she wanted it to be. Sounds so easy, eh?

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

So, I thought I’d take a page out of Roz’s book, and write MY obituaries, too. My life is pretty damn good right now, so it should be interesting to see where this little project takes me. I will write my Along The Present Day Path obituary today, and then will tackle my Wish I Had This Life obituary tomorrow. Sound good? Okey doke, here we go…

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Robyn Lindsay Thomson (May 15th, 1976) passed away peacefully yesterday, with The Cheerleader She Lived With by her side. An intelligent woman with a string of short-lived jobs behind her, Robyn struggled to find the true literary success she had been dreaming of all her life. She was able to re-write brochures and manuals through her various employers, but the closest she ever got to publishing her own work was when she met with an e-publisher, got all excited about the prospect of writing a book about her adventures, then sank into a depression of doubt which prevented her from living out her dream.

Robyn enjoyed a quiet life, living happily in her comfortable home with her partner and their border collies. She enjoyed traveling, and although she was unable to afford long trips, was content with her short but sweet jaunts to Europe, Australia and the USA. She also made her way to Africa in 2010 and climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro and raised over $12,000 for The Delta Hospice Society.

An avid fan of yoga and meditation, Robyn was given the opportunity to indulge in unlimited opportunities for both, but decided not to take it. Happy, but feeling restless, Robyn softly lived her life as though she were a leaf in the river, allowing fate to take her where it may, and generally being an opportunity pacifist. Always questioning herself led to an inability to fulfill the exciting and rewarding life that she could only enviously dream of. Comparing herself to others led her to feel inadequate, jealous and stunted, and so she lived her days in a perpetual state of wishing.

Robyn had dreams of becoming a successful and famous author, whose works would inspire millions. It never happened because she wasn’t able to convince herself that she was capable of it. She also longed to train as a chef, and be able to cook fantastic things for her deserving partner, The Cheerleader She Lived With. She didn’t do it, because she didn’t think she had the time. Although Robyn tried to live a healthy lifestyle, she was consistently unhappy with her physical appearance, and that led her to feel continually dissatisfied.

Robyn had many friends that she adored, but her depression, doubt and fear kept her from seeing them as often as she would have liked. She missed the opportunity to celebrate with them many times, and she never forgave herself for it. Under the guise of being a ‘homebody’, Robyn escaped from what she considered ‘possible public scrutiny’, by lying to herself about what the issue really was. Robyn was a very good actress.

Robyn did love the stage, and found acting to be relaxing, fulfilling and rewarding. However, due to a series of mistakes, she gave up the acting ghost and instead spent her time wishing that she could return to the stage, instead of figuring out how she actually could. Although she said that her motto was “Do it. Do it now”, Robyn just didn’t do it. She didn’t do it ever.

Aside from her extensive shoe collection, Robyn leaves little behind.

Donations in lieu of flowers can be made to The Delta Hospice Society and the That’ll Do Border Collie Rescue.

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Ouch. That hurt.

I’m going to take a few moments to let this sort of sink in… wow. I’m a little taken aback by what I just wrote.

Yipes.

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