The other day I was lamenting somethingerother and being all loser-esque toward myself, and this made The Cheerleader I Live With somewhat exasperated (he puts up with a lot. It’s a good thing I’m a decent cook, or he’d be outta’ here). Most of the time he curls himself around me and pats my head, reassuring me that I’m not nearly as big a loser as I think I am. Most of the time he says a few ‘tsk tsk’-like statements, then gives me a hug before making me some tea. Most of the time, with a soft look of caring and devotion he says kind, loving things to me and makes me feel alright.

But not this time.

No, this time, he decided to take another approach. And so, as I groaned about something I apparently thought was important (so important that I have forgotten it 2 days later), he turned to me and gently said, “Oh, go choke on a gopher”.

Needless to say, this  broke me out of my blue with a ripping snort and an incredulous laugh. He just told me to go choke on a gopher! The visual alone is quite amusing, but the fact that he chose this particular phrase to get me out of a funk really reinforced the reason why he and I are so well suited to one another.

The only problem now, of course, is that whenever I’m all sad and feeling inadequate about my writing/not writing of The Book, he’ll be busting out the ol’ Gopher Choke, and all my hard work at being really, really sad will be fruitless. He took away my ability to be irrationally joyless! Meanie!

So,the moral of the story is this: if your loved one is feeling down about something, feel free to tell them to go choke on a gopher, because it’s a good way of letting them know that you really, truly care about them.