So, The Cheeleader I Live With is taking me on a Date Night tonight! I love Date Nights. Such a good idea, you know? I’m sure it would be even more enjoyable if we had children to leave behind for a few hours, but it’s almost as good getting to leave the dogs behind, instead. I am a strong proponent of Date Nights, and I think you should go on one. Tonight. Just… don’t go where we’re going, ok? We need some privacy so that we can play kissy-face smoochies and make goo-goo eyes at one another across the table. No one wants to be interrupted when they’re doing that.

If I had to choose between having a pet rhino and having a pet elephant, I’m pretty sure I’d take the rhino. They look easier to climb up onto, provided that you don’t get gored by that crazy-assed horn they’ve got. If I got gored by my pet rhino, I’d probably lay there bleeding to death, wishing I had chosen the elephant. Grass is always greener, I guess.

I loathe Government websites. They are the most wordy, user UN-friendly sites out there. I’m decently proficient with a computer, but I can spend 30 minutes on a Gov’t website and be so totally lost, and so completely enraged, that I want to toss my laptop through a closed window. It is my personal (tin foil hat) opinion that Gov’t sites are purposely confounding so as to have the user get so disgusted and hopeless that they throw their hands up and walk away, thus allowing the Gov’t to avoid having to deal with that particular citizen. Fuckers.

Sunshine here, sunshine gone. Sunshine here, sunshine gone. Sunshine here, sunshine gone. Lather, rinse, repeat.

You know what’s scary? When you decide that you don’t want the rest of the popscicle you were eating before bed, so you throw it in the sink to melt… and it’s still somewhat whole in the morning. That is just wrong, wrong, wrong. What the Christ is in our food?! I mean, they’ve made a popscicle non-meltable! That’s disturbing. Oh! Oh! It’s also disturbing that it takes 3x as long to melt regular butter, than it takes to melt organic butter. Ewwwwww…

And finally, when you’re sick, and all stuffed up, and have lost your sense of taste… eating oatmeal with freeze-dried strawberries is a bad idea. The strawberries have a rather sickness-familiar consistency when they go down. You kind of feel like you’re eating something that should have been blown into a Kleenex with great force. Just sayin’.

Happy Friday, and enjoy the long weekend, friends!  xo