So, yesterday I told you that Anonymous had asked me two questions in regards to The Book, as a way to help me understand why I’m working/not working on The Book. Today I answer question one: Why do I want to write this book?

When I started blogging about my Kili trip last year, I had no idea it would morph into something so great. I was hoping I’d get a few friends who would follow along, but my readership just kept growing. I loved writing my blog. I would think about it all the time, and would wake up excited about the prospect of writing to the world that day. I seemed to have so much to say, and people seemed to want to hear it.

I think that I can be pretty funny, and my blogs were entertaining for the most part – I believe I can say that without overstepping the boundaries of narcissism. People would thank me for my posts, and would tell me that particular entries had ‘made their day’. I definitely received some sort of validation and acceptance from my writing, and from my readers. I felt that I was successful and accomplished in some small way. For the better part of my blogging last year, I held a job that I loved. I felt important and challenged in my work, and felt appreciated by my clients. So, to have such a feeling of appreciation from my writing, which I basically saw as a long-lost dream at that point, I was able to live with a real sense of fulfillment. Throw in my meeting The Cheerleader I Live With, and last year was a pretty great year for me!

However, when I lost my job in May (in a terribly humiliating and degrading fashion), my self worth took a huge hit. I tried to convince myself that I was going to be just fine, and that my writing would keep me buoyed and happy. But that wasn’t the case. It didn’t take long before depression made a nest in my squishy brain matter, and I haven’t yet been able to get 100% rid of the darkness. My writing isn’t as strong for me as I had hoped it was.

So, in a way, I guess I wanted to write The Book to get back that feeling of success, of accomplishment and acceptance. I just needed to know that what I had to say was worth reading. But I also wanted to make people laugh and smile again. The best emails I received were from complete strangers who told me that I had done just that for them. I wanted to write The Book to provide a wider audience with the chance to smile. I believe that I can make people smile and laugh, and I know that making someone that happy, even for a moment, is what makes my world work. I feel so fulfilled when I see that something I created has hit an emotional home with people. I was so genuinely touched when someone took the time to write to me and let me know that something I wrote made them cry, made them emotional in some way. It was the gentlest, most rewarding type of humility.

Do I want to sell The Book? Of course. Do I want to make money from The Book? Who wouldn’t? Is that why I’m writing it?

No. I don’t think so.

I want to entertain people. In this big, fat, angry world, I want to provide a small, smiling oasis for brains. I want to give thoughts a place to go, where they can relax, drink pina coladas, eat nachos, and bask in the warmth of their own laughter. That’s what I want. That’s what I think people need. I want The Book to be a friend to people, in a way. I want to let people into my world for a little while, and allow me to take them along as I do ridiculous things and make a total fool of myself just for the hell of it.

A world of friends who appreciate me just being me? That’s why I want to write The Book.

 

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