The other day as I was getting out of my car, the little ‘Hey! you left your lights on!’ alarm went off, and I said, “whoops! Thank you” and turned my lights off. I thanked the annoying buzzer thingy. I am SUCH a Canadian.

I decided to make my iPhone ringtone the theme song to Cows vs. Aliens. Sadly, no one really calls me, so it was kind of a pointless thing to do. Call me. Please.

As Halloween is fast approaching, I wanted to share this totally amazing collection of photos with you. It’s a Haunted Dollhouse done by the Bloggess – it’s a work in progress, and she’s been at it for… ohhhh… 11 years or so.  I adore the Bloggess, and rather aspire to her level of greatness. Read a few of her posts and you’ll see why. And her incessant hounding of Wil Weaton for a photo of him collating papers is twistedly brilliant.

I don’t like the term “moobs”. Or “gunt”. Those words are what I refer to as ‘sick and wrong’. (The term ‘sick and wrong’ also applies to the following words: creamy, moist, pie, chocolate bar, panties, scab and pus).

My almost-friend Christine the Wonder Adopter is basically me, but prettier, and with offspring. She does really stupid things that make me laugh, and I do stupid things that make her laugh. However, we have never actually hung out together, because we both are concerned that we’d let the other one down, kind of like when you actually meet someone from a dating site. So, until we get brave enough to plaster our respective towns with stupid posters of octopi and Lionel Ritchie, we’ll just stick with emails about ‘epic sex fests’ and drunken cycling. Personally I think we should drunk bake, but she’s probably too much of a WUSS to try it. Bok-bok-bok-boooook! Chickeeeeeeeeeeen!

Sooooooo… I DID secure that 2nd job, as I found out yesterday. Ladies and gentlemen, I am now a concierge at a fancy-schmancy resort hotel in the city. This is going to be so much fun! woo hoo!!

Why do oranges get stuck in your teeth, but grapefruit doesn’t?

I think you need another hit of Krumping action.

And on that note, I bid you adieu, and wish you a very Happy Friday.

Enjoy the weekend!