So here’s something fun: I resigned from my 2nd job yesterday. Yes, the job I just got 2 weeks ago. Yes, the job where I did only 5 shifts before handing in my name tag and uniform.

So why did I do this? Because I wasn’t happy, and I wasn’t happy because I didn’t listen to myself. I tried so hard to convince myself that I wanted a ‘fun’ job with no responsibilities, and that I was ‘ok’ with shift work, and that I was ‘happy’ to wear a uniform (and flat shoes), that I drowned out everything that I was actually saying to myself. Things like, “you need a career in a professional atmosphere”, and “you are a creature of habit and need a regular schedule that allows predictable time off”, and “you like to wear high heeled shoes and business attire”.  Oooops.

I tried to convince myself that I wasn’t who I actually am. I tried to tell myself (and others, embarrassingly), that I was some free-spirited, anything-goes, I-don’t-care kind of employee when I am, in fact, a rather uptight, approval-seeking, respect-needing, career-minded woman who needs work with purpose.

I like my brain. I like my skills. I think that I’m actually quite good at my chosen profession. The problem is, I don’t have a job in that field right now. They’re hard to come by, and I’m being a picky snot about my choices (no, I will NOT work for minimum wage while doing the work of four people).

I’m extremely lucky (and I know it), that I am in a position right now where I don’t have to work. It’ll get to that point soon, I am sure, but for right now, I’m ok. I don’t need to stick with a job that I dread going to. Life is far too short to do something that makes you cry. There are people in my life who HATE their jobs, and do rather unhealthy things in order to cope with that hatred on their days off. How is that a good thing? I just don’t have it in me to work solely for a paycheque. I need to like what I do, or love what I do. There’s no compromise there.

How do I feel about resigning after 5 shifts? Well, a part of me certainly feels like a quitter. Who wouldn’t? But I honestly felt a whole lot lighter when I made the decision to say goodbye to that job. I had been unhappy even before I took the job, because in my heart I *knew* that I didn’t want it, and was lying to myself about ‘learning to like it’. So I quit. And I’m ok with that.

And you know, Cheerleader Smart Mum (The Cheerleader I Live With‘s Mum!) said something that really resonated with me… I confided in her about my feelings, and she replied with: … it’s not about quitting.  It’s about stopping doing something that’s not good for you.  No one would say that you’re quitting if you stop beating your head against a brick wall.  They’d say that you’re smart. Well THAT makes sense, doesn’t it?! Talk about hearing something that you wanted (and needed) to hear.

So, I stopped. I stopped my job, I stopped being unhappy, and I stopped lying to myself and those around me. I stopped trying to be something that I’m not, and I stopped trying to deny my pride.

And now… it’s time to start. Start being honest, start looking for work that I love (again), and start being smarter about knowing who I am and what I need and don’t need.

Soooooo… anything YOU need to stop doing?

Happy Thursday!