Two nights ago, The Cheerleader I Live With and I had an argument about testicles, which led to me Googling ‘testicles’ at about 11pm in an attempt to prove that I know more about testicles than he does. At 11:05pm, I realized that I did not, in fact, know more about testicles than he does. Balls!

(FYI: the last thing I Googled before testicles was “Fartbongo”)

How about 2 more “Resume Fails” from  my friend who works in HR at a fancy-schmancy hotel downtown…

1) Resume file name: Hire me (im married).doc

2) Please see my attached “resume”. I’m available to “work” Saturday and Sunday. I’d “love” the opportunity to “talk” with you about this “position”.

Speaking of jobs and fails… last night at the gym I was chatting with a woman who used to be an RCMP recruiter. Basically she was the one who received all the applications, and then did criminal record checks on all of the applicants. I thought that was pretty interesting work, and said as much. To which she replied, “you would not believe the things people do, and then think we won’t find out about…” Of course that led me to ask, “ok, what’s the weirdest/funniest thing you’ve learned about an applicant?” She lowered her voice and said, “there are a lot of people who, ummmm, have carnal knowledge of an animal or a pet”.  ….wait, what?  Are you saying that there are people out there who are boffing their bunnies, humping their hares, and raping their rabbits?!  “I’d say about 1 in 4 people touch an animal in a sexual way, or have their pets lick their genitals…that sort of thing”, she replied. ONE IN FOUR?!  “Yeah, about 1 in 4. It’s pretty creepy”  YOU THINK?!  (Needless to say, these are NOT the people who make the cut for a future career in the RCMP).

Well, it’s Friday everyone, and I hope you have a fabulous weekend of partying and dancing ahead of you. Go out and have fun, but remember:

 

HAPPY FRIDAY!

xo

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