You know, I *was* going to call this post “Friday Trainwreck – Holiday Edition”, but then I decided that would be stupid, because I know that I get pissed off at all the other useless “holiday editions” out there. See this box of chocolate? We put a Santa cap on the turtle, and will now charge you $12 more. Holiday Edition! See this milkshake? We added crushed up candy canes to it, and will now charge you $2 more. Holiday Edition! See this bottle of vodka? We put a parka on it, and will now charge you $10 more. Holiday edition! *sigh…* Dumb. It’s like re-releasing ‘The Notebook’ in 3D, or not putting caramel in chocolate, or watching Keeping up with the Kardashians.

I wish the Kardashians would become Scientologists. No wait! I want Scientologists to become Kardashians! Dude, I just totally blew my own mind…

Wanna’ see one of the best parts of the holidays?

Torturing animals! Awwwwww, yeah… It’s what Jesus would have wanted.

Hey, hey… see THIS? Yeah, that’s where The Cheerleader I Live With and I will be staying at the end of our trip to Guatemala. We leave in 2 weeks. Just thought I’d brag. That’s all.

Sometimes the internet makes me so angry. I just saw a photo of a really grumpy Morgan Freeman with some pink cotton candy in his hand, and now my life is totally ruined. (*insert slow clap here*)  Way to go, internet, waaaaaay to go.

I had a dream last night that all the coffee shops in the city were closed on Dec 24th because they decided it was a holiday. I was VERY angry with everyone. Then I found a Greek restaurant and had some coffee there. Problem solved!

Wanna’ see another one of the best parts of the holidays?

I know, right?! Super cute fuzzball in a hat and scarf… I think I’ll go feed her some gingerbread men. That’ll make her feel festive and instinctual.

I’m reading a book called Inside of a Dog, and every time I pick it up I say to myself, “You’re reading Inside of a Dog? Must be dark in there! Har-har-har!” I want to kill myself sometimes.

Anyone have any ideas what I can do with 300 half-burned tealights?

So, apparently THESE are the Ten Most Watched Videos of 2011 from YouTube… I wasn’t going to link them, but video #10 got me thinking that maybe I should… then Video #3 made me realize that I HAD TO. Enjoy. (video #2 is one of all-time favourites, by the way… and please, for the love of all that is holy, do NOT watch video #1)

Well, guess I’d better eat some oatmeal and head to work. I’m really looking forward to Sunday, because I’m excited for The Cheerleader I Live With to open his gift. I’ve been torturing him with it for about 3 weeks now, and it’s going really well. I’m such a lovely girlfriend.

Have a lovely holiday, all, and may Santa bring you everything you’ve asked for, and a few other things just because.

Happy Friday!