*As I am reading on the couch, The Cheerleader I Live With walks up and hands me a rinsed-off avocado seed*

Me: Ummm… cool?

The Cheerleader I Live With: Wanna’ grow an avocado plant?

Me: YES!!

The Cheerleader I Live With: It won’t grow avocados, though.

Me: Well then what the hell’s the point of growing an avocado plant? It’s like staring at a lingerie window display!

The Cheerleader I Live With: Well, we can grow a plant, but we need to pollinate it with a male plant, and then rear it in near-greenhouse conditions in order to actually have it grow avocados.

Me: And you know how to pollinate male and female avocado plants?

The Cheerleader I Live With: …no.

Me: Do you you know where to *get* a male avocado plant?

The Cheerleader I Live With: …no.

Me: Do you know what a male avocado plant even looks like?

The Cheerleader I Live With: …no.

Me: This is a fabulous plan. Really.

The Cheerleader I Live With: FINE! We won’t grow an avocado plant!

Me: Fine. *goes back to reading*

The Cheerleader I Live With: *sighs* …I just wanted to see if I could do it.

Me: Oh my god… look, I believe in you, I know that you can do anything you set your mind to. But growing an avocado plant that doesn’t grow avocados is just dumb. Not to mention that it’s a horrendously cruel thing to do to me.

The Cheerleader I Live With: …We could grow it, and show people that come over that we know how to grow avocado plants.

Me: *thinking* …and without any avocados to show them, we wouldn’t have to share any avocados with them.

The Cheerleader I Live With: Exactly.

Me: I love you so much.

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