Last night The Cheerleader I Live With and I decided to tie one on, so we spent a happy Wednesday night drinking rum and watching old episodes of 30 Rock. We started chatting (slurring) about TV and movies and the conversation that ensued was so weird that I told him that I was going to blog about it today. He laughed and told me that I was way too drunk to remember it, so he didn’t have to worry. Sadly for him, I remember it.

Me: What was the first movie you saw in the theatre? Do you remember?

The Cheerleader I Live With: I remember Back to the Future III, but I don’t think I saw it in theatres. Let’s go with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I remember that one.

Me: When was that?

TCILW: 1990

Me: Dear lord. I was just going into 9th grade, and you were watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

TCILW: Guess so. Well, what was the first movie YOU remember seeing in the theatre?

Me: *quietly* Clash of the Titans.

TCILW: Really? Wait… the ORIGINAL one?!

Me: Yes. The original one… from 1981.

TCILW: Holy crap, I wasn’t even BORN yet! Hahaha!

Me: SHUT UP! Don’t rub it in!

TCILW: Hahaha!

Me: I also remember seeing Star Trek: Wrath of Khan (where I unceremoniously, and rather loudly, barfed up popcorn and an Aero bar during Spock’s dramatic death scene – a moment in my life that my mother will never forgive me for), and my dad took us to see Never Cry Wolf… that movie freaked me out because the guy ate a mouse. …And I know, you still weren’t born when I saw those, too!

TCILW: *sings* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… hee hee!

Me: Shut up. Ok, change of subject – what movie have you seen the most amount of times?

TCILW: Uhhh, Princess Fairytale.

Me: Wut.

TCILW: The Princess Fairytale. Princess Romance. Fairytale Romance… Princess.

Me: Is that even a movie? Wait… do you mean The Princess Diaries?

TCILW: Yeah! The Princess Diaries.

Me: …

TCILW: What? It’s a good movie! You even have a copy of it!

Me: I certainly do NOT have a copy of The Princess Diaries! Wait. Do you mean The Princess Bride?!

TCILW: YES! The one with the black pirate that chases them up the cliff. The Princess Bride, that’s it!

Me: *exhales loudly* – oh thank GOD. I was really worried for a minute there. I was seriously afraid that you just came out as gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! I mean, I’d still love you. I wouldn’t marry you, though. I wouldn’t want to steal you away from another man.

TCILW: What the hell?! You’d leave me if I were gay?!

Me: No! That’s not what I said at all! I said I wouldn’t marry you-

TCILW: Well THAT’S kind of you!

Me: -because I wouldn’t want to take the opportunity away from another man to love you! God, don’t you ever listen?!

TCILW: Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense. Wait, I’M NOT GAY! Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay!

Me: Of course there’s not! And I know you’re not gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that)… but if The Princess Diaries was the movie you’ve seen most often,  I’d seriously be wondering about you.

TCILW: Well, fair enough. I mean, I like Anna Hathaway, but that’s mostly boob-related.

Me: That makes sense. She has good boobs.

TCILW: Wait. Are YOU gay? Just this morning you showed me a picture of Cindy Crawford’s boob, and now you’re talking about Anne Hathaway’s boobs!

Me: Well excuse me for thinking that you’d like to see Cindy Crawford’s boob! I didn’t think you’d accuse me of being gay…  not that there’s anything wrong with that.

TCILW: Of course there’s not!

Me: This is sounding familiar. Wow. We really should not drink and converse… they don’t mix at all.

TCILW: Yeah, no kidding.

Me: Sheesh.

TCILW: …but just to confirm: if I came out as gay you’d still love me, and if you came out as gay, I’d still love you, but we wouldn’t get married because we wouldn’t want to deny anyone else the right to love the other person. Is that correct?

Me: Yeah, I think that’s about it.


Me: Can I go to bed now?

TCILW: I think I’ll join you.

Happy Thursday everyone!