Today The Cheerleader I Live With and I are going to the sustainability expo called Epic. Unfortunately we’re going to the one in Vancouver, and NOT the one in Dubai. That’s because The Cheerleader I Live With is cheap and wouldn’t spring for plane tickets. Pffft… and he says he loves me. Anyway, we’re going there because he wants to find walnut cufflinks. I’m going because I want to see what the hell walnut cufflinks are.

This weekend The Cheerleader I Live With and I have “plans”. That’s all I know – we have “plans”. The word “plans” has been on the calendar for three months, and he’s been taunting me with the “plans” the entire time. My birthday is next week, so the “plans” have something to do with that. All I know is that we leave at noon tomorrow, we’re over-nighting somewhere, and that I’m allowed to wear open-toed shoes.

So, this morning I watched a Will Ferrel and Jimmy Fallon video. It’s not the greatest skit, but I cannot get the damn song out of my head, so I thought I’d pass it on to you. Because I’m kind like that. Will Ferrel has his Tight Pants on…

And hey, to start your weekend off on the right foot, I’m going to toss some Resume Fails your way. Again, these are actual snippets of real resumes that have been sent to a friend of mine who works in HR at a fancy-schmancy hotel downtown. They are written verbatim, but any identifying information has been changed.

-Ability to work in a fat environment

-I am a friendly, reliable, honest and melancholy person

-Please contact me to interview. My social insurance number: 9**-***-**2 expired in Dec,2013

-Skills & Qualifications: • Have had glasses since I was 4 and contacts since 18 and I am 26 years of age

-I am looking for paid meals and tips position. I like the people I work with but they offer no tips. I use to work in construction but my back cant handle intense labor anymore

-I trust myself that I can speak English fluently. P.S. I searched about Human Resources that you guys want to with my resume, I still do not understand what really Human resources are

-Objective – To outperform, and outlast every employee

Happy Friday everyone! Enjoy the weekend… whatever your “plans” may be.