So, the other week I told you about the 4 potential job opportunities that I had on the go… well, just heard back on Friday that not a single one worked out. I really wanted that Jr. Copywriter position, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be. I keep trying to think, ‘it happened for a reason’, but I’m getting tired of thinking that way, you know? My mom always used to say, “you have to give up something good to get something better”, and I’m really trying to keep that in the forefront… but it’s getting harder and harder to do that.

I think what bothers me most is the fact that jobs like the copywriter position are more about me being “me”, than my experience. You know, they’re just authentic me, instead of ‘spouting off what you want to hear and tossing around career jargon’ me.

And that makes the rejection that much harder. They didn’t want ME. They didn’t like ME. That hurts this little brain o’ mine, even though there’s also a part of me that can see right through that fallacy. It’s a strange thing.

So, now what? Guess I keep tossing resumes out there. But I’m at the point where I’m not going to bother having hope anymore. What’s the point? I’ve been burned a few times too many by this ridiculous concept of hope in regards to finding meaningful employment. It’s really crappy when you’re applying for the same job that 500 other people are applying for. Sure, yah, I know, ‘someone has to get it!’… but it’s beginning to feel more like trying to win the lottery than trying to make a living.

I’m a little lost. I don’t want to do anything, but I can’t take a break, because I have to keep putting myself and my resumes out there. Because I have to work. I have to work. We all do.

Back to Step One, I guess… but I’ll be keeping my opportunities to myself from now on. I feel like I let you all down by failing to secure a single one of those positions. I shouldn’t have said anything – maybe my braggadocio got in the way of my karma. My bad. I’ve learned my lesson, though.

I’m off to scan the want ads!