The Cheerleader I Live With: Hey babe – which movie should we watch tonight? It’s been a long week, and I’m really looking forward to a night on the couch with you. You, me, movie, popcorn, awesome.

Me: Awww, you’re so sweet, darling. *yawn*

TCILW: You’re not going to make it through a movie, are you?

Me: Nope.

TCILW: Christ.

Me: But it’s YOUR fault.

TCILW: MY fault? Why?

Me: Because you kicked me out of the house, and it was like Biggie Smalls and Tupac.

TCILW: Ok, even for you that doesn’t make any sense.

Me: Yes it does! I stole a blender, and you kicked me out, and it was a big enough fight that it was recorded in the record books as being on the same scale as Biggie Smalls and Tupac!

TCILW: I’m going to ignore everything you just said.

Me: It was a dream I had last night, and I lost sleep because of it, THUS making me too tired to stay up and watch a movie with you tonight. YOUR fault.

TCILW: Listen, I’ll take the blame for a lot of things, you know, just to…

Me: Keep the peace?

TCILW: Keep the peace, yes. Yes. …And because of your hormones.

Me: …really? Did you just say that?

TCILW: Hormones.

Me: Are you looking for violence right now? Because it seems like you’re looking for violence.

TCILW: That’s the hormones talking.

Me: Wow. You’re walking a fine line there, pal.

TCILW: At least I didn’t steal a blender.

Me: IT WAS AN UPGRADE!!!

TCILW: Whatever Biggie.

Me: Why do YOU get to be Tupac?! Wait… did you just call me fat? You did, didn’t you?

TCILW: Oh shit.

Me: You know what? Just for that, you’re not allowed to use my new blender.

TCILW: I deserved that.

 

Happy Monday, everyone – from Skinny Biggie Smalls and The Tupac I Live With.

xo

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