I don’t want to go back to being unemployed. I’m dreading the end of this week, the end of my contract at EA. I LIKE working! I don’t want to not work. This sucks. It feels like I’m walking back in to prison.

It’s not the lack of income that I’m upset about, it’s the constant self-berating, and spiraling self worth about seeking employment that hurts the most. Well, that and all the competition, all the rejection, and all the flat-out ignoring from potential employers. Did they get my resume? Did they read it? Did they care?

I like DOING something. I like feeling like I’m a participating member of society. I like being able to have an answer to the question, ‘so, what do you do for a living?‘. I like having something to talk about. I like having the opportunity to appreciate the weekend.

I like shutting my alarm off.

I really am someone who needs to do something. I need to feel like I belong in that sense, that I’m contributing somehow, or giving back even in the smallest way.

I have this funny feeling that if I stay unemployed for too long, I’ll end up donating a kidney or something.

Not that that’s a bad thing, but there’s no money in it. Well, I suppose there could be, but it’s limited to supply. I can only give ONE kidney. I wish there were people who needed fat. I could totally be down with donating my fat to those in need. I’d eat a lot of pizza. I’d probably make pizza smoothies. And they’d probably be terrible.

But not as terrible as unemployment.


…I’ll miss you, little kidney.

Have a great Tuesday all!