Overheard these two conversations on the same day this week (Note: the 2nd conversation is rather… risque. Mom, don’t read it, ok?)

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Girl 1: I used to think I was bisexual, but then I realized that vaginas gross me out

Girl 2: You’re definitely not bi, girl.

Girl 1: Yah, I know. I think boobs are great, but vaginas are kind of gross.

Girl 2: Well that’s understandable, really.

Girl 1: I used to think I wanted to date a hermaphrodite, but then I realized that they’re probably not as well put-together as I imagine. It’s not like Pamela Anderson meets Milton Berle, right?

Girl 2: Probably not, no. Hey maybe you need one of those Thai Ladyboys.

Girl 1: I thought about that, but then I got scared that if I went that route I may be religious. Or Republican. Or worse, both.

Girl 2: I’d call you Li’l Miss Limbaugh.

Girl 1: I wish vaginas were cuter.

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Girl: If you woke up with boobs, would you want a vagina, too, or would you want to hang onto your penis?

Guy: Oh, I’d totally want the vagina, too. I’d want that full feeling. If you woke up with a penis, would you want your boobs gone too?

Girl: No, I’d want both. I kind of want to know what it’s like to <CENSORED> on my own boobs.

Guy: I can already do that.

Girl: You don’t have boobs.

Guy: I could if I were fatter.

Girl: If I had a penis, I’d stick it in a jello mold.

Guy: You’d only do that once, believe me.

Girl: Well yeah – I’d already have done it once. Time to move on to pudding and stuff.

Guy: You are so not allowed to ever have a penis.

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I think I need to start hanging out in better coffee shops.

Happy Thursday, freaks!

xo

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