My dog would like you all to know that she took a bullet in the butt while in service for her country. In no way is her butt shaved because she had a weird lump removed. No, she is simply a brave dog, who courageously took a bullet to the hiney, while protecting your right to life, liberty, and freedom. She says, ‘you’re welcome’. Humbly, of course.

So, it’s only Tuesday, but a lot has been going on in my weird little unemployed brains this week.

-My 12 year old became the Thousand Dollar Cur (And I’m going to just go ahead and assume she’s not going to make that cool Six-Million-Dollar-Man sound when she runs, dammit) due to her lump-removing butt surgery  bullet removal procedure.

The Cheerleader I Live With found a new website for DINKs (Dual Income, No Kids) like us that has totally blown my mind, and opened up a completely new world.

-I started reading a book about women who choose not to have children (I also chose that… not that people believe me, but that’s a post for another time), and am now feeling totally justified, yet completely overwhelmed.

The Grumpy Scottish Cheerleader introduced me to a woman named Brene Brown via this TED Talk, and, (aside from wondering if it’s pronounced ‘Breen’ or ‘Brenay’), it’s hit me upside the head with stupid emotions.

I don’t have time for all this THINKING! I mean, I’m unemployed now! Aren’t I just supposed to sit on the couch, pout, eat cookies, and search the internet for 1980’s cartoons to watch? This is bullshit. How am I supposed to wallow in my own bitter self disappointment if you people keep introducing me to things that deny me that right?! Assholes. THE LOT OF YOU! How dare you try to help me achieve greatness – who the hell do you think you are?!

Bloody cheerleaders. Always ruining my unhappiness.