*The Cheerleader I’m Married To comes into the kitchen after a long day, and finds me cooking dinner*
Him: Hey babe, that smells great!
Me: Thanks! It was supposed to have broccoli in it.
Him: But it doesn’t.
Him: …and this is because?
Me: Because I went to the store and bought broccoli, and brought it home, and when I was chopping it up I noticed that there were bugs all over it.
Me: Yeah. But when you buy organic produce, you can expect some bugs here and there, you know?
Me: But the issue was that these bugs were still alive.
Me: No, no! Not gross – this broccoli is their home! They were just chilling at home, having a nice meal of home-broccoli. I can’t eat their home! I couldn’t be that person, and I couldn’t allow you to be that person, either. We have morals, you know.
Him: Oh god, what did you do?
Me: I took all the broccoli and put it in the backyard.
Him: So, we’re not having broccoli.
Me: No. Because it didn’t belong to us.
Him: Of course. *pats me on the shoulder, and then walks away shaking his head*
Happy Thursday all!