*The Cheerleader I’m Married To comes into the kitchen after a long day, and finds me cooking dinner*

Him: Hey babe, that smells great!

Me: Thanks! It was supposed to have broccoli in it.

Him: But it doesn’t.

Me: No.

Him: …and this is because?

Me: Because I went to the store and bought broccoli, and brought it home, and when I was chopping it up I noticed that there were bugs all over it.

Him: ewwwww…

Me: Yeah. But when you buy organic produce, you can expect some bugs here and there, you know?

Him: True.

Me: But the issue was that these bugs were still alive.

Him: Gross!

Me: No, no! Not gross – this broccoli is their home! They were just chilling at home, having a nice meal of home-broccoli. I can’t eat their home! I couldn’t be that person, and I couldn’t allow you to be that person, either. We have morals, you know.

Him: Oh god, what did you do?

Me: I took all the broccoli and put it in the backyard.

Him: So, we’re not having broccoli.

Me: No. Because it didn’t belong to us.

Him: Of course. *pats me on the shoulder, and then walks away shaking his head*

Happy Thursday all!